


Not Even Remotely Controlled

by thesez



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Anal Sex, F/M, Humor (oh god i hope so), Keebo gets dom lessons, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Rimming, Threesome - F/M/M, a couple of different flavours of BDSM, general rough stuff, it is with a heavy heart that i must tag this as 'cucking', largely porn though, warning: canon-typical Kokichi and Miu dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 17:55:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14360616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesez/pseuds/thesez
Summary: Miu makes a remote control that can hijack any electronic device. Kokichi decides a test-drive is in order. Keebo learns some things in the process.





	Not Even Remotely Controlled

**Author's Note:**

> this is unbeta'd, so if it sucks, i guess its absolutely my own fault. sigh. i just wanted an excuse to write a lot of very fun terrible dialogue. let me know if theres anything else i really need to tag this with btw, cause idk.

"Ah, thank you, Miu, I'm starting to feel much better now," Keebo said sheepishly from his position, pressed against the ultimate inventor lab table by Miu's chest and surrounded by various technology-friendly cleaning tools.

"Hah-haha! Any excuse to get my hands inside that hard little body a' yours! Good parts ain't shit without proper upkeep, I wanna make sure your insides are purrin' like a cat in heat!"

Miu moved to close his panels, and as soon as she looked up, she spied the face of an unwanted visitor leering back at her from the doorway. "Hey!" She roared. "Get the fuck outta here, you nosy little needle-dick prick! Quit stickin' it where it don't belong! We're doing maintenance and you're not invited, find somewhere else to jack off!"

"'Quit stickin' it where it don't belong?' Let me guess. 'That's what she said', right? Aha." Kokichi's grin didn't falter as he closed the door behind him, but Keebo looked a little bit more concerned by the action. "I'm not gonna. But calm those teats of yours. I just came here to thank you, actually, your inventions have been very helpful. I'm afraid I need some clarification on something, though."

He took a remote control out of his pocket and turned it over in his hand, studying it as if it was a puzzle he was assessing the correct approach to. "You said this could hijack *any* electronic device, yeah?"

(Keebo furrowed his brow. _It what?_ )

"Of course, ya fuckin moron!" Miu replied. "It does what I made it to do, you think I half-assed that shit!?"

He turned his free hand up dismissively. "Maybe it won't work due to a lack of effort. Maybe it won't work cuz you're stupid, or you're trying to screw me over. Should I really be taking you at your word considering how loose your... 'morals' are? I'm afraid I might need a demonstration." He pulled out a receiver and offered it to her, and she snatched it. Like taking candy from a baby.

"I'll have ya eatin' my humble fuckin' cherry pie in a jiffy, dipshit! Keebo, sweetie, give us a hand here, will ya?"

"Yeah, Kee-boy, give us a hand here. Sweetie."

Keebo's internals practically grumbled in trepidation. On one level, he was a little nervous about the idea of it working on him at all. He... wasn't just a device, was he? And then, more practically, if it did work, what kind of a situation would he find himself in? That was inviting trouble. "Miu, are you certain this is a wise course of action? I'm almost certain that Kokichi is just-"

Miu wilted. "You don't trust me to keep this runt on a short leash, Keebs?"

"That's not it at all, I just think-"

"Yeesh! Harsh, Kee-boy. Personally, I think you should have more faith in her, yaknow?"

"It's just that..." The sentence died in his mouth as soon as he saw the concerningly similar insistent expressions on both of their faces. He synthesised a cough and started again with resignation. "Very well, but my condition is thus: Miu maintains possession of the controller the entire time."

Kokichi clucked his tongue and placed the device into her outstretched hand. "Kee-boy? Wow. More like kill-joy."

"It seems like the wisest course of action, in this instance."

Keebo tilted his head for Miu to attach the receiver where his head met his neck, and when she pressed a button on the remote, he felt his limbs leaden. Sensation remained, but movement didn't, for the most part. His eyes moved, at least, and he could still make facial expressions.

"Ya good, Keebs?"

"Hm." Okay, his voice worked too. "I suppose. This is... somewhat disconcerting, though. Let's proceed, I'd like to be done with this sooner, rather than later."

"Okay. Give us a wave, then. And flex! And pirouette!"

Miu commandeered the remote and Kokichi watched her fingers intently through every exasperated action Keebo performed (as funny as those were to see). Those buttons controlled those motions, and these buttons controlled these... Finally she gave Kokichi a slap on the back to punctuate her conclusion.

"Demonstration over. See, ya whiny little trash can? Don't question my genius. It worked! So fuckin' bite me, and don't let the door hit your ratty ass on the way out! Or *do*!"

"Mhm," he intoned. "I see! You know, it's pretty amazing that you can make something as smart and useful as this ... Considering how much of an incompetent bitch you are in every other aspect." The instant the insult was out of his mouth, he slapped her hand, and the remote clattered to the ground, free for him to pick up.

She swiped for it, and he evaded. "Hey! What kinda shit are you tryin' to pull? Give that the fuck back!"

His expression was lurid as he replied, "Not on your disgusting trainwreck of a life."

Miu lunged again and he ducked behind Keebo. She dived left and so did he, and when she swerved right to meet him, he dodged right too. She reached for him over Keebo's head and he shrank away, and cackled with all the glee of a kid playing tag. "Aaaaahhh! Kee-boy, help, she's gonna get me! Stop her, quick!"

He tapped at the remote, and Keebo found his hands firmly grasping her bosom. She froze. _Oh._ Keebo thought. _Oh, no._

"H-Hey, what's the big idea, here!?" Miu shouted.

Kokichi feigned a scandalised gasp. "Yeah, really! What's gotten into you? Did she sneak some horny malware onto this thing, or is she just *that* bad an influence on you?"

"Um. Sorry!" Keebo said.

"Like you even need to be sorry," Kokichi admonished him. "I bet she's over the moon about this."

She didn't look too angry. Or displeased at all, for that matter. More just... flustered.

Kokichi stood up, slung an arm around Keebo's shoulders, and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks, by the way! You make a great meat shield. Or, well, not meat, but you know. But, hm. I guess you weren't lying, Miu. Unless he's just faking it and playing along? I can't rule that out just yet, maybe he was just using it as an excuse to do *that*. I never knew robots could be perverts, but I get the feeling I'm going to find out a looot of interesting new things today. You might, too."

Keebo couldn't move his hands away (and Miu didn't really make much of an effort to escape it...), but he could at least avert his eyes, which he figured might be the next best thing. He had his voice, too, maybe he could talk this out. He frowned thoughtfully. "I am not sure what you imagine you're going to accomplish with your actions, but surely there are more rational ways of going about it."

"I don't know why *you're* complaining. You want first-hand experience with new aspects of humanity, right? Well, here's your chance to get in on this." Kokichi spread his arms wide. "I'm ready to teach, if you're ready to learn!"

"Learn *what*?" Was his response.

Kokichi didn't answer for a moment. Instead he raised the remote again and scrunched up his face at it, as if very focused on trying to work out what he was doing with it. When he fumbled with the controls, Keebo's hands squeezed and jiggled their contents. Miu gasped and thrust her chest outwards. Kokichi piped up again.

"Okay, actually, maybe I'm still not 100% on this yet."

"Y-you know e-exactly what you're doing!" Miu accused.

"Are you *getting off* on this?" He accused right back, with a silky tone that said that question was very much rhetorical. "Kee-boy gropes you in front of me and you're *into it*? Ew. Don't you two have any shame, you deviants? God. What a pair you guys make."

"N-no, god-fuckin'-damnit! You're-"

"Speaking of!" Kokichi turned his focus back to the robot. "Do *you* have a pair, Kee-boy? You never gave me an answer, I'm still looking to solve that mystery."

"Uh. A... a pair of-?"

"Nuts! And a bolt, I assume. How are you configured? Downstairs."

Oh, like a... Right. Mechanical-themed reproductive euphemisms. Keebo's silence was staunch.

Kokichi sighed. "Well, I'm sure *you* can tell me, Miu. Did you give him a fat cock or what?"

Miu perked up considerably. "Oh! Actually, I-"

The loud drone Keebo emitted cut her off. She drew her hands up in indignant surprise. "Hey! Keebs, I-I was just sayin'-"

"Wow, rude! Don't interrupt her, geez," Kokichi said, with a hand on his hip and a disingenuous little smile. "Learn some human manners."

"You did it too," Keebo pointed out.

"Hm. Yeah, I guess I haven't been much of a team player so far. We all need to work together to find the truth, right?"

Without even bothering to look at the remote this time, Kokichi tapped it again, and Keebo found that he had let Miu's chest go, and instead had his hands on her shoulders. And those hands were carefully pushing her down to her knees. And she wasn't quite resisting it...

"You, on the other hand, are being very co-operative, aren't you? You're a good little bitch deep down inside, huuuh?" He addressed her with a voice that was sugary and dripping with condescension, like he was sweet-talking a particularly stupid animal. He looked at Keebo when he spoke again, like he was more interested in his reaction than hers. "Just waiting for anyone with hot blood and an ounce of actual willpower to put you in your place?"

Was it an insult? It wasn't a nice thing to say, but as much as the robophobia rubbed Keebo the wrong way, Kokichi didn't say it like it was particularly mean-spirited. Was it a test? A provocation? He didn't know.

Miu responded instead. "Sh-shut up!"

"Hm." Kokichi looked back down at her and tousled her hair mockingly, then gestured to Keebo's groin. "Go on, help me out. Take it off."

She moved like she would have taken any excuse to, and pried the panelling off the crotch of the paralysed and lightly mortified bot in front of her. Kokichi let out a low wolf-whistle at the sight of the heavy appendage hiding underneath.

"Look at you! Kee-boy's *hung*! Well, that answers that. Guess you *had* to make it huge to find any traction in that slack, nasty twat of yours."

Miu let out a humiliated whimper, which he paid no mind. Instead, he let his eyes roam the rest of Keebo's body with what seemed like more than a little genuine curiosity. He was used to the responses of a human being's body instinctively, but a technological one was foreign, and he regarded it with interest. Physical exertion didn't quite express itself in the usual way. Neither did nerves. Keebo was uncertain, but he wasn't unsteady at all. His fans whirred hard. Kokichi kicked his shoes off, hefted himself up onto the table, and began wriggling out of his pants.

"W-what are you... d-doing!?" Miu said. Not like she didn't know what his actions were, but more that she wasn't sure she actually believed it.

"Don't get your panties in a twist. I just want to make damn sure you're not feeding me any BS here, it's important. And what better way to do that than to play with your toy? Even if I may need a little assistance..."

He removed his underwear as well, crumpled it, and tossed it to the floor, then fixed her with a stern and utterly baleful glare. "Get over here and prep me for it, you bottom-feeding bitch."

She looked taken aback, but didn't have a problem understanding what he meant. "B-but... how do I know your dumb ass is clean?!"

"Wow," he sighed. "Busted. Ya got me, I was hoping to kill you with butt germs. Dastardly, right? No way anyone would solve that one, I'd be home free. So much for the long con," he said. The idea of it sounded pretty stupid said aloud, so he hoped she'd get the hint, but he figured he'd assuage her concerns anyway. "Seriously, it is, and that's not a lie. Get here, *now*. I won't say it again."

With a pained shriek, she skittered over and perched beside the table, now face-to-face with his rear, and shot Keebo a concerned glance, hesitant but not unwilling so much as... asking permission? ... Seeking encouragement? She... wanted to do that? Keebo's eyes darted away for a moment, his plating heated, and when he finally brought himself to make eye contact, his voice crackled as if he was clearing his throat, and he gave her the slightest nervous nod he could possibly muster. She extended her tongue and dived forward to bury it.

Kokichi reclined with his arms behind his head, sighed in satisfaction, and crossed one of his legs over his other knee. Keebo averted his eyes again, but with a press of the remote, he was made to look back over... and with another press, he felt the stasis of his body vanish and the ability to control his actions return. He looked at Kokichi in shock -

"Did you just-"

\- and was met with a very pointed finger-on-lips gesture.

"Ah. Silence really is golden. Isn't it, Kee-boy? God. Miu, this is *so* much better than having to hear *any* of the stupid crap that comes out of your mouth. Can you just do this from now on? I mean, wow. You sure you didn't get admitted here as the Ultimate Ass-eater?"

He chuckled at his own dig and beckoned Keebo closer with a finger, and the robot, though self-conscious of his exposure and still at a loss as to how to best handle the situation, complied.

"You should take care of him too," Kokichi said breezily. "If he can even feel it. You didn't just slap a dildo on him and call it a day, right?"

She shook her head, and looked over for a moment to find and grasp Keebo's dick. Keebo quivered at the sensation that he obviously *could* feel, relieved by the comfort of somewhat more familiar circumstances. As odd as it still was, Miu's touch was something he was a little bit more used to.

"N-nah, he's got a real sensitive rig. Don'tcha, baby?"

"Um. Yes, I..." Keebo sputtered. "That particular physical attribute is... Functional."

Kokichi raised his eyebrows briefly, then toned his expression back down to casual.

"Alright. Well. Fingerbang me, and suck him off."

She looked between the two of them, from one to the other and back, eagerly, and didn't need to be told twice.

When she tentatively dug her middle finger in, she curled it in a way that made Kokichi lose his breath for a second - evidently, her skills with her hands extended to manipulating the inside of a human, too - and latched onto Keebo. He checked for a moment, and seeing Kokichi sufficiently distracted for the time being, reached to pet her hair. God, this was *weird*. But... not bad? Everyone did seem to be having a decent enough time...

Even... Well. His retractable collar clicked forward reflexively to cover his blush. Even himself. He certainly felt like he was experiencing something new. And... interesting. Miu was so enthusiastic, and... He dropped his head further. He hadn't used his parts much before; Miu had been very eager at the concept of his endowment, but when it came to using it, she was oddly reserved. More bark than bite, so to speak, so the feeling in it still surprised him. Huh. Sensitive, indeed.

"Hey!" Kokichi barked when he finally cracked an eye open again. "Did I say you could slack off? You're not even taking *half* of it yet, you lazy skank. If that's the kind of service you give, I'm surprised Kee-boy hasn't dumped you yet. Work harder!" He lifted his foot and nudged the back of her head with a little giggle that turned mean when he heard the sound of her gag. "Geez, what is this, amateur hour? How disappointing."

Keebo put his hand to his mouth for a second. Oh, right. Organic physiology. That happened when they found a foreign body in their esophagus unexpectedly. A protective measure, useful but inconvenient. He wasn't equipped to eat, so he'd never need to personally experience it himself, and he had mixed feelings about that, but... Now he had a better idea of it than he did before, and it made him curious. Kokichi let her move her head back and Keebo mumbled, "Did that, um. Discomfort you?"

She coughed into her fist. "Y-you can... d-do it again, if you want." That didn't answer his question directly, but... in a way, it did.

"Nee-heehee! What a glutton for punishment. I'm glad you're not just all talk. Then, I'll help!" Kokichi moved her hand out from where it had been prying into his body, shuffled back off the table, and kneeled next to her, head just by hers. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and spoke into her ear, and the action made her shiver even before the words did. "Hope you're ready to prove you're not *completely* worthless. Don't forget, no teeth, you don't wanna hurt such a precious instrument, do you? Good luuuck."

He shoved her head lightly, but rhythmically, and whistled while he did like he was occupying himself doing menial labour. At first it wasn't any further than she had gone on her own, but then she felt a prod at her tonsils that gave her pause. She put her hands up on Keebo's thighs in reflex.

"Come on, don't pussy out," Kokichi said. "Use that big mouth practically for once. You can do it, I believe in you! ... Plus if you don't relax and go with it, you might puke. I mean, that's *so* nasty you're probably into that too, but I don't want to deal with the mess." He rubbed her neck with his other hand, encouraging, and pushed her head down again.

"Hrrk!"

This time she took more in and Keebo's fans clicked into a higher gear.

"Wow, you can really feel it in there. Check it out, Kee-boy."

Keebo - hesitantly - put a hand to her neck and Kokichi nudged her again. Oh, he could. It was astounding to experience the effect he had on her biology in a way he hadn't before. It made him feel so... odd. Inside and out. She gurgled around the obstruction and Kokichi let her head up.

"A-are you certain that's alright?" Keebo asked. Oh, he was so unsure. Even if he physically enjoyed it. And... maybe just a little, mentally. She was distressed, so he needed to stop. Wasn't she?

Miu cleared her throat. "I-I'm good. ... I *am* good, aren't I?" She looked doe-eyed, fishing for praise.

As in, proficient? He had no frame of reference. But in his subjective experience...

"Very much so."

He stroked her hair again. (Kokichi rolled his eyes when he noticed, god, he was so soft-hearted. Soft-cored? Whatever his equivalent was.) It was strange that that was what she was concerned about. Humans... willingly compromised themselves like this, for the sake of another person's pleasure? And it could contribute to their own? Not even a means to an end, working against their own self-interest could be a goal unto itself?

"See, it's fine. Between you and me, though, *I* just don't think she's doing a good enough job." Kokichi shook his head, and hooked the sides of her mouth open with his fingers. He inched forward so that his chest pressed against the back of her head, bracing it. She wouldn't be able to move back. "You should take charge. Show a little initiative. … Pff, what am I talking about? You have to, if I say you do, right?"

Take charge as in... Move of his own volition. Something about that prospect was harrowing. The fact that it would be even rougher on her? Or the idea that he might find it... more enjoyable? Keebo frowned in concern.

Kokichi wiggled the remote still held against his palm with his other fingers. Was that a threat, or just an offer? Keebo wouldn't take the latter, and as for the former... Maybe he didn't even need it. Maybe he would just. Do it. He hesitantly pushed his hips forward and felt her tense up with another heave. She clutched at the backs of his thighs. Enthusiastically. His fans screamed.

Kokichi looked smug. In a way that Keebo found utterly confusing. What possible purpose was this really serving for him? Was he enjoying it? Not on a physical level, she *had* stopped stimulating him, but. On some other level? Why?

Ohhh, nevermind. The feeling building in him made him drop his rumination like a bad habit. Humans could do some astounding things with the pockets in their body. If he could breathe, he would have been a little breathless. Miu made noises, wet and guttural, that he might have thought seemed off-putting before, but were quickly becoming recontextualised.

"Did you guys know the term for this is 'irrumatio'?" Kokichi said casually, like he was having a normal conversation instead of a freaky sex one. "Kinda like fellatio, but with the passive and active roles reversed. Funny coincidence, huh? It's latin, though, so they didn't name it after you. Tch, I mean, obviously." He paused like he was savouring the opportunity to be meaner. "Cause you're so god-awful at it."

Miu swatted his shoulder with the back of her hand, and he laughed in surprise and let her head go entirely. "Wow, vicious."

"Y-you're just jealous I'm garglin' his dick instead of yours," she croaked out between her panting, trying not to let how exhilarated she was show. Her dopey undignified expression left nothing to the imagination.

"I know bait when I hear it, and that's way too transparent, even for *you*," he snorted derisively. "Kee-boy, did you fuck the sense out of her dumb fat head? That's kinda mean, she really needed that. It's not like she had much to begin with."

Keebo turned wide-eyed. "I-is that possible!?"

"Yep!" Kokichi clapped her cheeks with a bright smile. "I mean, she spent a while down there and asphyxia kills brain cells. See? She's even drooling now, too. ... Haha, ew." At his laugh, she swiped the accumulated spit off her chin self-consciously. "Man, you should see yourself, you look even worse than usual. I didn't know that was possible."

"Get fucked, idiot," she huffed and wiped a tear beaded in the corner of her eye.

"Oh, I plan on it." He lowered his head, next to hers, both still precariously close to Keebo's crotch. He was *so close*. "Are you sure you don't want me to show you up first, though?"

Miu's frown crinkled her chin as she considered it. Her pout was almost hopeful. "W-well... I mean..."

Kokichi leaned in, lips barely parted, slowly...

And stopped. "Kidding. God, you *wish* I was down there slobbering on his dick too. Sorry, I'm just not as desperate to debase myself as you are," Kokichi flicked her nose, then moved his head back, and his eyes flickered up and caught the tail-end of Keebo's almost expectant, then confused, then nearly disappointed stare. So easy to read. He smiled at Keebo like he was flirting, and spoke again. "Why would I serve a machine? Machines are supposed to serve *me*."

Keebo looked away. More robophobia... but again, less sincerely insulting, and more... provocative. He wasn't sure of it, but it seemed like it wasn't supposed to put him off, it was supposed to... egg him on?

"Now," Kokichi stood up and dusted his hands off. "I believe you told me to get fucked? Sure, I'd love to. It's about time."

Miu wrung her hands and bit her lip, but when Keebo shot her a look of concern, she seemed fine. Actually, she seemed excited. And in full control of her faculties, so her having brain damage wasn't true, then. Probably. Still, he'd make note of the fact that she couldn't spend much time down there at once, he should limit it. A few seconds at a time.

Kokichi hopped back up onto the table, and Keebo's concern was renewed. He acted like he seriously expected them to... do it. And Keebo - oh, Professor Idabashi, please forgive him - kind of wanted to? What a brave, new, horrifying world he was stepping into.

"Take a good look, Miu," Kokichi said in a sing-song tone. "Wouldn't want to miss yourself getting cucked so hard. This is as close as you're gonna get to your precious cyber-cock from here on out~"

She withdrew obediently, to a position just under the table, and looked up. Kokichi reclined, from sitting to lying back, and made a grabby hand motion to draw Keebo closer. When Keebo was situated accordingly, he hooked his hands under the crux of his now drawn-up knees.

"Gimme that dong, Kee-boy."

Keebo seemed hesitant - he still wasn't quite sure what he was doing now, but at this point, he was willing to be directed. This wasn't too hard, he got the gist of it, he was going to put his parts in the, ah, orifice. He lined himself up. Kokichi let out a grunt as the head of Keebo's dick nudged at his entrance and began to sink in, aided by Miu's slobber. She made sure it was loosened, but perhaps not as much as he expected it to be. Sweat beaded on his forehead and Keebo frowned in sympathy in spite of himself.

"Ah, if you find yourself in that much pain, maybe I could stop... ?"

"Ssh! I'm fine. Did you forget already? You *literally* cannot, so *shut up* and *keep going*."

He petulantly stamped a foot against Keebo's shoulder plating. Keebo thought it seemed pointless to keep up that pretence, but...

"Oh, er... Of course, um..."

He retracted a moment to get his bearings and underneath them he could see Miu, now red-faced and weepy, staring intently at their impending junction. He put a hand on the edge of the table next to Kokichi's waist to brace himself and pushed back in. His body prickled with pleasant static.

Kokichi bit his lip and tolerated it until the feeling brought more pleasure than pain, and when Keebo began tentatively rocking his pelvis, he gasped. "A-ah! Ahaha...." He breathed out and tilted his head to their observer. "By the way, Miu... I-if you're pathetic enough to start touching yourself to this, I'm gonna make him stop, and I'll leave."

"G-good, I h-hope you do, I h-hope you f-fuck off forever you piece of shit," She managed to huff, but no matter how hard she squirmed, her shaking hands stayed off her body.

He didn't seem to want to make it easy for her, though. Gratuitously spread-eagled, he grasped the table behind him with both hands and flung his head back.

"*Mmh*, yes, you feel so *good* inside me, Kee-boy. *God* he knows how to use that thing. If I knew that before, I woulda made him plow me sooner! All. Night. Long."

That felt kind of good to hear. This was the most confused Keebo had ever felt about enjoying himself. Was it a lie or was he really doing a good job? And technically he *could* go all night without getting tired. If he was good at this *and* was within his means, could it be... lucrative?

Oh, how could he even *consider* that? Did he really imagine becoming a robot *escort*, even for a second? After he was so bashful about this beforehand? How had he given in so quickly? This was dire.

He went harder to distract himself and work out some of his distress. He lacked finesse, Kokichi acknowledged, but how wholeheartedly he was going for it was interesting enough to make up for it. His strength didn't feel quite as feeble as he claimed. Was he holding back, normally? Was he aware of the difference now?

The rhythm of Keebo's considerable weight pinned Kokichi down and jabbed him open, and Kokichi let out a frazzled laugh. As considerate as the robot was still trying to be, his movements and the way that his eyes were clamped shut tight made it apparent how caught up in the moment he was, and the particularities of the human body had clearly slipped his mind. There was something *so* intriguing about the contrast of his soft nature and harsh actions, it might have been more stimulating than the sensation itself. Give him an inch and he takes a mile, huh? Kokichi couldn't help but needle at him.

"G-geez... Calm down, sex machine. Are you *trying* to make me bleed or something? Doesn't that kind of thing go against your programming?"

Keebo, feeling caught out, stopped himself and stammered out. "S-sorry. But... technically, I have no such restriction..."

"Is that so?" Curious. Kokichi turned his attention to Miu, still watching and waiting. "Oh, but you haven't hurt her yet, have you? Even though she's basically *asking* for it?"

"I-... I... have not."

He could tell? And god, what a strange thing to feel guilty about admitting.

A disappointed sob rose in Miu's throat, and Kokichi heaved another laugh. "Aw, are you upset he's being sooo mean to me and not you? Jealous? Ah - Don't worry, I'll give you a hand."

He snapped his fingers to get Keebo to look him in the eye, and gave him a heavily-lidded stare. "Go on. This should be easy for you, since you have no heart, tin man. Tell her the truth. It feels better to fuck me than it does to fuck her. Right?"

The stunned silence prompted him to elaborate. "I'm tighter and cuter and I don't have massive gross sacks of fat that make you seasick when they jiggle." He wriggled for emphasis.

When Keebo stayed quiet, still trying to process the command, he tried a different tack. "If you do, I'll let her have a reward."

That was a little more compelling.

"Um... Well. Uh." He would have sweat, if he could. Maybe it was okay to just say things sometimes, whether they were true or not, as long as they had a purpose? "It... does?"

"Aw, you flatterer! Well, alright, slutbag. Come up here."

Miu practically leaped up to hover closer to them on the table, shame-faced but entirely ready to throw herself on their mercy, and Kokichi spread his arms with a flourish. "Congratulations, you get to touch me again. I bet you were looking forward to that, huh?"

"H-Huh? But I thought..."

His expression soured. "Ugh. Nothing good ever comes from *you* thinking, so just stop. Less talking, and more doing. Chop chop."

He clapped his hands for emphasis. Miu gave his body an up-and-down glare and clenched her fists. Goddamn fuckin'... hot little... douchebag, son-of-a-bitch, motherfucker, ugh, pushing her buttons as easily as the ones on the remote. She didn't know whether to jack him off or throttle him.

He sneered in disdain. "Don't know what to do? Are you *that* braindead? Do I really need to tell you *everything*? God. Kee-boy, I just don't know what you see in this stupid whore."

"She..." Keebo started, and faltered. She's a little... no, very rough around the edges, but... surprisingly kind and generous? Genuinely brilliant? Deserving of appreciation? ... But would saying any of those right now get her off? He glanced at her sweaty face and confusing feelings spiked in him. He'd save those ones for some other time.

"She... clears me out, very efficiently."

Miu let out a wounded whine and Kokichi threw his head back to guffaw. "Ahaha, now you're getting into the spirit of things! And you really *did* learn how to read the mood, good for you. Maybe you can get through to her, then. Give her a command or something."

Oh, no. That wasn't how things usually went. Keebo didn't call the shots. He felt very suddenly thrown into the deep end. It wasn't like he had no imagination, but this wasn't a thing he considered often. And he was so... what was the term she used? 'Vanilla'? But he had to say something. Something sexual...

"I'd... uh. Appreciate seeing your breasts?" He ventured.

"Oh, ewwww, Kee-boy, no. Not that! I thought you had better taste than that."

"I don't understand what the problem is. I believe that under these circumstances, she will find the exposure appropriately humiliating?"

"Ugh. Maybe, but *I* don't want to see it, though!" Kokichi grimaced and raised a hand to block out the sight of Miu, energised, unclasping her bra. When it was off and out from under her clothing, she threw it down in triumph and pulled the neckline of her top down over her chest.

"Blow it out your ass, dickweed, and get a load of these babies! You should be honoured to see my gorgeous tits, some people would give their right arm for the privilege!"

"Shut the fuck up you titty monster. I wouldn't look at your dumb saggy udders if my life depended on it."

"Why not!? They're hot, ya little fag!"

"They're lukewarm at best, but who cares. I wouldn't piss them out if they were on fire."

"Fuck you! They're fan-fuckin-tastic, say somethin' nice about 'em!"

Kokichi sighed. He cradled the back of his head in his hands and looked like he was genuinely putting some effort in. "... They'd make good ashtrays?"

"Oh! W-would they?" Miu twirled an errant strand of her hair.

"Bleeeh, now I'm not sure if I even *wanna* fuck anymore. Kee-boy, lemme go."

Kokichi sat his upper half up, presumably to attempt to leave, and with his eyebrows raised expectantly, his expression was as unhelpfully opaque as ever. Keebo wasn't sure at the best of times, and it was worse now that the bulk of his processing power was still elsewhere. Did he mean that? Logic said assuming yes was the safest bet, but this felt remarkably like a trick. His inner voice wasn't helping to direct him much either - it was cacophonous, so confusing and inconclusive that he actually felt a little free to ignore it. But Kokichi *did* still have the remote, so if he genuinely *did* want things to be over and done with, he could easily enforce that. And Miu looked kind of annoyed at the prospect of this finishing so soon. So...

"... No?"

"*No*? Why not? You're not gonna get blue-balls if you stop, and if you wanna get off that bad, I bet this vapid cumrag would looove to help."

Ah... Was this another set-up, maybe? To steer things back on track? Oh. Well, hm.

"I... would not be satisfied with her."

"Wow, I ruined you for her that bad? Sorry, Miu. Looks like you're not even good enough to be his cocksleeve anymore. But I'm sure you can still make yourself useful! Kee-boy, how can she still make herself useful, huh?"

Well, at least this had a clearer answer. A physically pleasurable action.

"She can stimulate your..." There was a clear answer for this too, he supposed, but he lost what he intended to say when he noticed Kokichi pointing towards his chest with both hands. What? "Uh..."

"Nipples," Kokichi said in a stage whisper.

"Nipples?" Miu repeated incredulously.

"Those bad boys aren't just for show!" Kokich began unbuttoning his coat. "What, did you think I'd tell you to suck my *dick* or something?"

"No! W-who'd ever wanna do that kinda gross shit to *your* shrimpy little pecker?" Miu frowned and looked away.

"That's good, cause I wasn't gonna let you. You've done enough cocksucking for one day, you greedy hoover," Kokichi added insult to injury, and shrugged his coat off. He threw it in Miu's face, and she tossed it aside. "Now let me show you what a reeeal good chest looks like." He puffed his own out, proudly.

"No! Mine's better! You don't even have tits, shit-for-brains, you got nothin' there to give a fuck about!" Miu slapped her hands down on the table. "Keebs, tell him!"

Keebo wasn't really sure how to judge, but if he was honest, his patience was wearing thin. His genitals were *still* firmly stuffed in a warm welcoming tunnel, and he *still* hadn't gone back to using it. It was frustrating. He'd stayed still for *how long* now? For the sake of their bickering? Surely they didn't expect more derogatory banter?

"Neither are relevant to me in the present, so I do not care. I'd like to resume the intercourse," he said, and his tone didn't leave them to leave them room to argue. "Miu, be silent and obedient."

They both stared at him, and both were wide-eyed. Kokichi put a hand over his mouth to cover his startled grin, and Miu squealed in surprise. "Heeeee! Y-yes! Uh, right, s-sorry sir!" Without hesitating, she ducked her head, lapping at a nipple on one side of Kokichi's chest and pinching at the other.

"I think we should continue now," Keebo turned his attention to Kokichi again, and his opinion didn't sound much like a mere suggestion.

Kokichi moved his hand away to talk, and it revealed the rush of blood to his cheeks. "Wow, sounds like sssomeone got used to this quickly! Using living people like objects to satisfy yourself with... That's messed up," He tutted. "I can't believe you're such a sicko, Kee-boy."

"I-I'm not a... W-well..." Keebo stammered out. It... Well, it *wasn't* true, was it? And it was embarrassing to hear, but he wasn't about to let it make him back down, now of all times. His sensors screeched at him to continue. "... Who's fault is that," he grumbled. His frustration subsided as soon as he began rutting against Kokichi again.

Kokichi threaded his fingers through Miu's hair and clenched. He squirmed as the thrusts jostled him and the table began rattling again, and bit a knuckle of his other hand to suppress a hiss. "Shit," he said quietly, and Keebo, eyes shut, ignored it. "God, I should have gotten you to suck *his* dick again. Spit doesn't last forever."

"You made your dry ass-fuck bed," Miu paused to reply, just as hushed, "now get laid in it." She raised her voice again, "Ream him, Keebs."

"But you're ganging up on me and being horrible when I just wanted to help you guys out! And it hurts so baaad!" Kokichi's wail turned sharp and wounded. Keebo froze again, hit with a fresh surge of guilt, but when he looked, a mocking grin split Kokichi's face like a jack-o-lantern, bright and mean. "Stop for *real* tears, Kee-boy," he said. "Not *fake* ones."

Keebo refused to put up with this nonsense anymore. He threw everything he had back into his effort, and he found himself unable to contain his voice. His wordless verbalisations crackled with static, accompanied by the roar of air from his vents. Kokichi whined and swore, but as far as Keebo was concerned, he could deal with that himself for the moment. He took it out on Miu, tightening his fist in a death grip on her hair, and she responded in kind, biting and digging her nails into his chest.

"*Fuck*!" His voice was scratchy. "Ah, god. Miu, can he even cum, or is he just gonna go til he fucks me to *death*?"

She grunted, probably a confirmation to the former, not the latter, but he didn't need her answer. He could tell by Keebo's startled, overwhelmed cry and the sudden rush of warmth flooding his body. He bit his lip, but he watched Keebo, still intrigued. The robot had no muscles to tense, but his movements were rough and jerky with mechanical exertion, and he was almost entirely lost in the feeling. When it finally abated, he was dazed, but perfectly still. No limp exhaustion.

Keebo wasn't tired the way a human would be, but he desperately needed to let his circuits cool, and judging from the way Kokichi panted hot breath, that might have been similar enough. He was acutely aware of how much energy he had exerted through the act. And astounded, and now that his processor wasn't desperately focused on carnal acts, incredibly embarrassed. And secretly, oddly, satisfied. He'd have to recharge far sooner than he would have otherwise, and he'd been given a whole slew of new experiences to attempt to comprehend during.

"Ah," he uttered, focus drawn back to the situation by Kokichi carefully extracting the dick from his body with a wince. "Are you alright? Was that... acceptable?"

"Geez. I didn't know you had it in you," he said, giving a casual non-answer. Even if he hadn't known for sure beforehand, he had guessed it was possible, and was proven correct. He nudged Miu's head away from his chest like he was annoyed by her presence again.

She saw an opportunity and mustered up enough bravado - and frustration - to bark out a laugh as she sat back on her haunches. "What's the matter, pain-in-the-ass got a pain in the ass?"

"Yep. I got savaged, your boyfriend's dick really did a number on me. " Kokichi lifted his head up and stared her down again. "Come here and kiss it better."

This time, Keebo didn't hesitate or fumble when she looked to him, though he was given pause for a moment at hearing 'boyfriend', rather than 'robot' or 'sex toy'. Would she have agreed with that? This didn't seem like the kind of thing that upgraded a relationship status, having sex with someone else in front of them and then making them contend with the aftermath. But, well... she was a very unconventional person. "Go on."

"Make sure you get it all, I don't plan on going back out there with jizz leaking out of me," Kokichi added. "How undignified would *that* walk of shame be? I mean, who am I, *you*?" He sighed when he felt her tongue on his tender area. She was gentle enough in her cleaning and he let his eyes close and lazily jacked himself off. Keebo stood to the side, and now unoccupied and recovering, he stroked the back of her head.

"Hope whatever she loaded you with is nontoxic. … By the way, Kee-boy..." Kokichi opened an eye and pointed, roughly, at Keebo's crotch. "Since you're not a person, you wouldn't know this, and who knows what kind of things Miu even bothers to teach you about hygiene... Wash that thing before you use it again. And not just with her mouth, do it properly."

"Oh," Keebo said, with a concerned glance downwards. He didn't know the exact reasoning for that, but despite the insulting window-dressing, it didn't seem to make Kokichi's words less informative. Kokichi had been factual enough so far, it was probably a legitimate instruction. "Yes, I believe I can do that."

"Great." Kokichi placed a foot on Miu's head to push her back. "Well, Miu... You actually did an OK job, you filthy pig of a woman. Congrats! In fact..." He said, a feeling in his body mounting. "C'mere."

"OK?" She grumbled. "Don't you mean fuckin' awesome!? Experiencing this gorgeous girl genius' golden tongue is the event of a lifetime!"

He grinned perversely. "I have a compliment for you," he insisted. "But I dunno if I can say it aloud, you should come closer to make sure you... hhhn, hear it..."

She leaned in, and with a nasty gasping cackle, he grabbed her head, pointed himself, and streaked her face with fluid. Without a warning, she didn't have time to protect her eyes, and she shrieked pitifully and thumped one of his legs with her fist. "Ow! Jesus fuckin' Mary and Joseph, don't impregnate my eye, you shitfuck, that hurts!"

"Huh. Should have worn your goggles," Kokichi said, his smirk now tired, but still plenty mean. "Lab safety is really important, you know." He rested his head back for a moment, then finally sat back up, and awkwardly allowed himself to slide off the table and back onto his feet. "Alright, cool. Well, I'm done, so this is over."

"What about me!?" Miu shrieked, swiping her face with the back of her sleeve.

"Uh, what *about* you?"

"I ain't done yet! I'm gushin' like a goddamn firehose over here. I wanna cum alreadyyy!" She wailed.

Kokichi rolled his shoulders in the most lackadaisical shrug he could possibly muster. "Don't look at me, I wouldn't fuck you with a 10-foot pole. And I got what I wanted - my test was a success." He popped the remote receiver off from Keebo's neck, picked his pants up off the ground, and tucked it into one of the pockets. "Sooooo... I don't really give a crap what you do about that. Hump his leg like the desperate animal you are, for all I care."

Miu shot a ravenous glance at Keebo, and Kokichi shot him a placid but expectant one.

"Oh, um..." At the prompting, he grappled for something appropriately condescending to respond with. When he settled on what, he put his arms akimbo like he was proud of how well he'd learned. "Heh-heh! Well, Miu, normally it would be beneath me to cater to your organic libido, but I'll be charitable and indulge you, no matter *how* pathetic you would have to be to use my nonsexual limbs for that purpose!"

He was rewarded with Miu practically flinging herself over the table in her race to pounce on him, looking like she had won several different lotteries at once. Horniness superseded her annoyance at the impromptu facial. "Holy fuckin' SHIT yes! Yeah, I'm a nasty little beast; lemme at it!"

Kokichi snorted and turned away to focus on dressing and neatening himself up properly. Thankfully, there was nothing going on that his clothing didn't cover up, and his unsteady gait, if noticed, could be lied away. ("Kokichi, what happened?" "Violent butt-fucking." "..." "Kidding, I tripped and fell.") "Welp, hope you're more prepared to do us all a favour and keep your bitch in line now, Kee-boy." He made sure he was as presentable as ever before he turned to face the door again. "Nice playing with you guys. Seeeeee-yas!"


End file.
